Have you been minimizing yourself? 😢
It sucks, so let’s change that
“If you find yourself underselling your abilities or even making yourself physically smaller to avoid attention, you’re minimizing.” – Sana Panjwani
Self-minimizing often stems from low self-esteem. The good news is, it’s extremely common.
The bad news, well, it’s extremely common.
Here are 3 signs you’ve been minimizing yourself, and how to change that:
Giving yourself negative self-talk
“I can’t do this.”
“Ugh, I’m such a failure.”
“I always screw up.”
If you often say this kind of thing to yourself, it might be a good idea to stop.
As cliché as it sounds, your words matter. You might not realize it, but when you talk bad about yourself, you inadvertently internalize it.
Imagine if your best friend talks like that. Will you nod along and agree with them?
Or would you surge forward, grab them by the wrist, and shake them so they wake up and start seeing their true value?
If you can’t let your loved ones drown in self-deprecating monologue, why should you let it to yourself?
Undermining your own hard work
“I’m just lucky.”
“It’s not even that difficult.”
“Everyone else can do it as well.”
Do they sound familiar? Do you often downplay your own achievements, making them look easier than they actually are?
When you undermine yourself, two things happen:
You train yourself to accept less than you deserve
You give other people a chance to see yourself as less qualified
The result can be disastrous: You could pass up a job because you think you don’t have the qualifications. You could decline a great offer because you think everyone else deserves it more.
You could sabotage your dream because you think you’ll never make it.
Let’s start owning up your strength and capabilities. Our trick is to write them down.
The next them you feel unsure of your worth, try asking yourself these questions:
What have you achieved?
What steps did you take to make it happen?
How does it make you feel?
Are you proud of yourself? Why or why not?
Self-sabotaging and getting in your own way
“Self-sabotage refers to behaviors or thought patterns that hold you back and prevent you from doing what you want to do.” (Source: Healthline)
Have you ever had a big goal, a strong urge to accomplish something … but you don’t actually take a step to make it happen?
Or, specifically, deliberately stop yourself from pursuing it?
It comes from a lack of belief in oneself.
When you are presented with a goal or accomplishment but feel like you don’t deserve it, you may subconsciously take steps that prevent you from getting there in the first place.
That way, when you don’t achieve it, you have something to blame. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
While it can show in a number of ways, these are some of the common ones:
Procrastination
Picking fights
Committing self-destructive behavior
Blaming yourself when something goes wrong
Avoid getting out of the comfort zone
It’s a vicious cycle to break, so let’s start with one thing: catch yourself in the act.
Tune into your internal monologue and recognize when you’re getting in your own way.
Do you procrastinate on a task due next week because you feel inadequate? Do you put off applying for a job because you think your portfolio is a mess? Do you stop learning a new language because it’s too difficult for you?
After a while, you will start noticing the pattern.
Then, step back and practice points number 1 and 2 in this newsletter.
It could be hard to recognize the signs, but with practice and self-awareness, we believe you can grow more comfortable with owning yourself.
If you want to read more self-development insights like this, click the subscribe button below. We’ll see you next week 😉